the thing about mental pressure

3/24/2018

Being a performer for many years and then taking up competitive ballroom dancing at a mature age, I thought that my nerves would be tamped down and chill during comps. I was wrong.  Maybe you are not a performer but find that you avoid public speaking like the plague. You feel put on the spot, anxious about remembering what you have set out to say.

But, certain conditions can mediate or eliminate the very nerves that can interfere with a free, rehearsal repeated speech or routine. And it has to do with self imposed pressure……and isn’t all mental pressure self imposed?

There seems to be an unexpected reduction of self pressure when the very element of winning is perceptually removed. The pressure of winning is out of the question because of an initial poor performance, or a confluence of events that seems to make winning unlikely.

As for the later, I can recount a recent experience at the NY Dance Festival. I started the comp with only 2 hours sleep the night before and soon realized that the number of dances I would be doing was more like 2 or 3 times the number I signed up for. There were semi-finals, finals and some hidden ones I did not take note of.

For those reasons, I felt that going for a win was beyond consideration. I just wanted to stand up in my last heat! (It took some grit, but I did and won 2nd place in my first gold comp in scholarship round and 3rd place in championship round). I wouldn’t recommend these conditions, but it is interesting to note how a reduction in self imposed pressure plays out.

Similarly, Nathan Chen the favorite to win gold in the men’s singles ice skating competition fumbled and fell badly in his short program. Pretty much a disaster. There was almost no chance that he could finish on the podium. Here’s what he said after the short program:  “Regardless, I am going to be nervous,” he said. “It was the same pressure I always put on myself.  Honestly, it was bad . I made as many mistakes as I possibly could have.”

But, in his long program, we wondered if this would be another embarrassing repeat of the short program. It could not have been more opposite. He landed every single jump, quad or otherwise and even threw in a 6th quad for good measure. He finished off the podium but moved impressively from 17th to fifth.

So how could this be? Remember that Chen also had a poor skate in the team competition and then followed up with the bad short skate. By the time the long program rolled along, he had nothing to lose – except his nerves around winning. He was more relaxed and able to plug into his rehearsals and training, allowing his nervous system to quiet and his muscles to coordinate.

The reason for the first two unexpected performances? According to Nicole W. Forrester, an Olympian and a registered mental performance consultant who wrote the article excerpted below:

“They are catapulted from minimal attention to intense media focus, which can make the athletes feel like they’re being scrutinized and judged.  This new attention can shift their focus on the need to win and away from what will allow them to be successful — the process.”

Aha! This is something I can help you with. Being in the moment, staying in the process, the pressure of winning is all in the future – you can only be in this moment, literally. Easier said than done, but a rich endeavor that, yes, can help you be successful in whatever you do!

If you want to find out more, book a lesson with me, either on zoom.com or if you are in the NY/NJ area at my studio in Montclair, NJ. Please use my contact form below, tell me about yourself and leave your availability. I will respond within 24 hours.

0 Comments

Leave a Reply.

Student Reflections

I had no idea how profound this work would be! Of course most of it has to do with Bette’s expertise and innate sense of what I need. It was like magic – my head no longer felt heavy and my jaw, shoulders and neck were free of tension. Through common sense and subtle reminding without actually DOING, I have been able to address my unconscious habits which have freed my body and thus my emotional state considerably. I highly recommend this work for everyone who moves!
Susan Borofsky
Singer

I had struggled with pain for a few years - rotator cuff disease, carpal tunnel in both hands, and pain in one of my legs that was sometimes so bad that I could barely walk. A friend whose daughter is an Alexander teacher had been urging me to go for a couple of years, but I resisted the idea until last December when physical therapy wasn't working and I thought I might need back surgery. I sent out some inquiries and Bette responded and even fit me in for a session just before the holidays. The results are way beyond expectations. My pain is so much better, I've been able to decrease the medication by over half, and I never have trouble walking. The sessions are enjoyable, and I always learn something. Bette is professional, kind, and has a great sense of humor. I'm only sorry it took me so long to get there!
Phyllis Zoon, Pastor

It is really important to choose the right instruction tailored to your needs. Bette’s extensive movement background coupled with her acute sensitivity and gentle style put me at ease immediately. Starting off on that note allowed me to be the most receptive in getting a lot out of each session.
Terri Gelenian-Wood
Artist/Silversmith

“I believe this work helps the nervous system to unload habitual patterns of movement and provides opportunities to discover new ones.” I leave sessions feeling significantly more relaxed. Sitting, standing and moving with less tension has great implications. Bette brings her knowledge, experience and insight to each session while making it a fun experience.
Rebekah Frome
Structural Integrationist

I’m a yoga teacher and I really thought I knew my body. But Bette was able to reveal more of me to myself. Alexander Technique is a great way to get to know your habits and your blindspots; I use the new awareness I learned from Bette every day!
Emma Magenta
Yoga Instructor/Acupuncturist

I finally learned what “stand up straight” and “sit up straight” means. Until I worked with Bette, I was completely confused about my posture – I didn’t know what to do with my neck, my shoulders, anything! And most importantly – I learned what I was doing that was the root cause of my excruciating neck pain — and I licked it. Before I met Bette, I was considering neck surgery – I just couldn’t take the constant pain from my herniated disks. After working with her for a few months the pain went away, and never came back.!
Judy Hoffstein
Consultant

“I have become aware of how I “organize” my body through stillness and movement. I have begun to see that “organization” as something thru which I can move into towards greater support, freedom and less tension. Alexander work – a gentle and profound process has illuminated for me how we tend to rely upon habitual ways of bracing our bodies through life. I have come to see those patterns as a box. Alexander work presents a way out of the box.”
Jeanne Heinzer
Founder and President of Heinzer Consulting

“Studying AT with Bette, I am no longer suffering from a repetitive strain injury (I can play the saxophone pain free again) and, wonder of wonders, the chronic pain that I’ve had for a number of years in my right hip has disappeared.”
Steven Hartman
Attorney/Saxophonist

Lessons in the Alexander Technique made me conscious of how I was using my body. It helped me understand how to do things in a more efficient way without hurting or exerting unnecessary muscles.
Carol Meiseles
Violinist/Teacher

My work with Bette began many weeks before my first lesson with her. I was suffering from back pain and was making some choices about my care, not sure which direction to turn. I wanted to re-connect with Alexander Technique because I had studied it in my 20s and found it transformative.

Knowing no one in the area (my teacher had been in New York City and moved away many years ago), I found her practice on the internet and phoned her. She was leaving her house, but arranged to call me back. She did so and her generosity was evident immediately as her thoughtful questions and conversation made me feel listened to and respected. She even emailed me pointers for “Constructive Rest” so that I could begin to get some of the AT benefits even before my first session. I thought, “Wow! She is helping me before any money has been paid. And she doesn’t know me!” If you’ve grown up in New York and New Jersey, you know how rare that is.

She spoke with me a second time as well and she again gave me the benefit of her experience with some advice about movement/exercise. We also discussed some logistics about travel and cost (I do not have a car and was in a stressful place financially). Again, her thoughtfulness was so evident, that I made up my mind that she was the right teacher for me. I called to schedule an appointment within a few weeks.

Bette’s studio is a light-filled, lovely space that makes one feel better just by being there. Her manner is respectful, warm and intelligent. I have a personal history that makes a sense of safety of key importance. I felt within one session that Bette was not only very skilled, but very safe as well. She also has a great sense of humor!

I cannot say enough about Bette’s excellent work, her kindness and professionalism. I recommend her whole-heartedly as a teacher and as an individual.
Douglas Oxenhorn,
Teacher

"Paying attention to how I hold my body and how I move helped me with my long hours of sitting in front of a computer. The attention to form and alignment that I learned in my lessons also improved my yoga practice. Practicing awareness of how I hold tension in my body and breath helped me manage my stress and anxiety better.

Bette is a wonderful teacher with great energy. Alexander Technique is a subtle practice, and she does an excellent job tailoring the lesson to each student’s abilities and understanding. She’s very positive and encouraging. I always leave a session feeling better than when I got there."
Grace Dadoyan
IT Professional/Yoga Practitioner

What I love most in working with Bette is how she is able to show me through completely nonjudgmental observation, words, gentle and informed touch, where the strain is in my doing and what it feels like to enjoy the ease of doing. For example, as she guided my walking, I learned immediately how I tighten and strain my neck muscles and what it feels like to just allow my head to rest easily on top of my spine, inviting delicious ease and alignment. When Bette gets me on her table and rearranges my head, neck and limbs, it’s as if she has triggered a resetting of my muscle memory back to the carefree, limber, physically integrated child (or even baby) that I once was.
Wendy Dolber
Option Method Practitioner

What Health Professionals Say About The Alexander Technique

The Alexander Technique remains the best of the self care strategies to prevent the sequel of poor posture and poor breathing.
Harold Wise, MD, PC New York, NY

The Alexander Technique stresses unification in an era of greater and greater medical specialization. Its educational system teaches people how to best use their bodies in ordinary action to avoid or reduce unnecessary stress and pain. It enables clients to get better faster and stay better longer. This is undoubtedly the best way to take care of the back and alleviate back pain.
Jack Stern, MD, PhD
Neurosurgical Group of Westchester White Plains, NY

I found the Technique to be so beneficial in my condition that I have been referring patients in certain situations for Alexander lessons over the last several years.
Howard L. Rosner, MD Director, Pain Management Service The New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center New York, NY

Lessons in the Alexander Technique taught me how to sit in a state of lumbosacral poise, and my chronic low back pain gradually became cured. The Technique is true education. Compared to surgery (e.g., for low back pain or for chronic obstructive lung disease) a course of instruction is inexpensive.
John H.M. Austin, MD
Professor of Radiology; Chief, Division of Radiology Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Center New York, NY

I think I have given my patients something almost as good as magic. I have taught them what to do and not do when their backs give them trouble, and how to reduce unnecessary stress and pain. As a result, they no longer have to feel afraid and helpless when back pain occurs. Many consider themselves cured because they have been able to return to an active, normal lifestyle.
Deborah Caplan, PT
certified Alexander Technique teacher
author of Back Trouble

Not only do I see the therapeutic benefits of this work with various patient problems, but it has helped me deal effectively with my own adverse muscular tension. I continue to experience a newfound freedom of movement in my own body that I believe is making me a more effective therapist.
Howard W. Makofsky, MS, OCS
Mastic Beach, NY

In addition to its physiologic and musculoskeletal benefits, the Alexander Technique is extremely helpful in relieving the psychological states of depression and anxiety that so often accompany chronic pain and disease. It is my belief, based on professional experience, that the Alexander Technique should be part of all preventative health and education programs. It is as basic as good nutrition.
Jill Sanders, DO
New York, NY

The Alexander Technique makes sense in that appropriate use of the body will lead to reduction of various musculoskeletal disorders and remediate others which are established. No equipment is needed, just the skill and training of the teacher. This technique is very worthwhile as a primary preventative therapy. It is especially useful when posture is a key factor in back injuries while lifting and for workers who perform repetitive tasks while sitting.
Robert D. Greene, MD
Emergency Department, Norwalk Hospital Norwalk, CT

I recommend people to the Alexander Technique who have not improved with traditional rehabilitative therapies. Part of their pain may be due to posture and the improper use of their bodies. Many people who have neck or back pain and have gone through heat, ultrasound and massage with no relief can be helped by learning the Alexander Technique. It definitely works. Nothing works for everyone, as one well-versed in using physical therapy and biofeedback, I know how valuable this technique is. I highly recommend it.
Barry M. Scheinfeld, MD
Specialist in Rehabilitation Medicine and Pain Management Community General Hospital, Harris, NY

The Alexander Technique has been very helpful in identifying the postural and breathing habits that contribute to my fatigue and muscle soreness. I found it a good value: cost effective, making me less dependent on chiropractors and more comfortable at work.
Douglas J. Bush, DMD
Chester, NJ

When, in spite of my instruction, a patient is having difficulty understanding how to make changes in habitual movement patterns or has a profession with particular physical demands, I typically suggest the Alexander Technique. I have found it very helpful for patients who have low body awareness or who have trouble relaxing. Improvement in these areas facilitates many physical therapy modalities, especially cervical spine joint mobilization.
Gail King, PT, MS
Backtec Orthopedic & Sports Physical Therapy New York, NY